


Stormy Seas

by Bougainvilleaz



Category: Heroes of Olympus - Fandom, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Drama, Love Confessions, M/M, Slice of Life, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bougainvilleaz/pseuds/Bougainvilleaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once Nico confesses to Percy, he thinks he's finally in the clear. But after holding back his feelings for several years, the son of Hades soon realizes that he's falling in love with Percy all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Checkpoint

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is something I've been meaning to write for a really long time now. It was originally just supposed to examine Nico's feelings about Percy, but as I was writing it things just -- did their own thing. Personally speaking, Nico's experiences in the novels have always struck a chord with me. He and I had very similar experiences with regard to romantic feelings. Because of this, I wanted to put my own feelings into this fanfic as well, so it may get a bit heavy-handed. 
> 
> The long and short of it is: I was very disappointed by Nico's confession scene and Blood of Olympus. This fic is how I would have written that scene.

Nico stared out at the turbulent waters of Monterey Bay. Anger, sadness and fatigue were all whirling together and crashing against the jagged cliffs he called his own heart. It was funny, Nico thought, how nature seemed to mirror exactly how he was feeling. Even though the sky was usually clear and blue at this time of year, thick gray clouds cast a gloom over the bay and seemed to exude an all-too-familiar feeling of melancholy.

Nico sighed. It had been three weeks since Gaea was defeated, but he still felt like he had unfinished business. At the behest of his new-found friends, the son of Hades had decided to do something he would never think of doing.

He was going to confess to Percy.

Had Nico not met Jason, Reyna and Will, telling Percy his feelings was totally out of the question. Percy Jackson, the hero of Camp Half-blood, the one who saved the world not once but twice - no doubt he was straight. He was dating a girl, so of course he was! And even on the off-chance that he wasn’t, Nico expected himself to be the last person Percy would go after.

“It’s not for him, it’s for you,” Reyna had said. “No matter what he says, getting this crush off your chest will be really good for you.”

Nico felt Reyna knew what she was talking about. After the war between the two camps ended, Nico often visited her at Camp Jupiter to see how she was doing. Well to be honest, he also regularly visited the other camp to check on Hazel, but Reyna was different. Reyna was one of the few people whom Nico let inside, one of the few who got past all of his walls. The daughter of Bellona told Nico about how had she developed feelings for Jason years ago, and that she was still figuring out how to deal with them.

“So how come you never told him?” Nico had asked.  
“I was going to, but then I got scared. What if he said no? What if he decided to avoid me? What if he refused to work with me as co-praetor?” Reyna explained. “I couldn’t afford to take that risk. Camp Jupiter’s integrity was more important than my own personal feelings.”

Nico admired Reyna. She had gone through a lot, and no matter what the gods threw at her, she always came out on top. She had so much strength, she had more than enough to share with others. That was one of the things Nico loved about her.

Nico was used to being an outcast by now. Children of Hades were small in number and greatly scattered even before Hades promised not to have any more children. No one really liked the idea of death and the underworld anyway, so most people gave Nico and his siblings a hard time.

But when he was a kid, he didn’t just feel different. He felt like something was wrong with him, like he didn’t fit in. Like he didn’t belong. Maria di Angelo was a religious woman, sworn to her faith despite knowing Greek gods dominated the world. Most of Nico’s few memories of his childhood were of him and his sister sweating in their Sunday clothes while sitting in the pews of whatever cathedral their mother had dragged them to. When Nico realized was attracted to boys instead of girls, he knew he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Homosexuality is a sin, people would say. His father was already missing, and Nico didn’t want his mother to go as well.

So he kept it secret. On that fateful day when Percy rescued him and Bianca, Nico felt like his dreams were becoming a reality. All those Greek heroes he read about in books - they were real and very much alive, not some names stowed away in a dusty old tome. Percy was brave, loyal and kind. How could Nico not fall in love with him? 

When Nico first realized what he felt for Percy, that he wanted something more than friendship, he locked those feelings away. He couldn’t tell anyone, not even his sister. Now Bianca was gone, and he’d never be able to tell her. 

After all these years of hiding his emotions, Nico felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. Bottling up his feelings didn’t work then and wasn’t going to work now. He needed to tell him. Not to see if Percy would like him or not, but to do himself a favor. Once he told him, his burden would be just a little bit lighter than before.

That was why Nico arranged for this meeting. He felt that being alone here, in this beautiful but sad place, would help him gather his thoughts. And it did. He knew exactly what he was going to say, and how he was going to say. At this point, Nico had probably gone through the entire speech a hundred times in his head.

“...Hey,” a familiar voice said from behind him. It was Percy.  
“Hey yourself,” Nico replied.

Stop number 6 on the 17-mile drive. It was impossible to miss.

It’s now or never, Nico thought.


	2. The Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico finally says it.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Percy asked.  
Alright, Nico thought. You can do this.  
Nico opened his mouth, intending to start his pre-planned speech. But then his throat went dry. His words failed him. What came out of his mouth was somewhere between a squeak and a whisper.

“Sorry?” Percy strained.  
Nico cleared his throat. His mind blanked - what was he going to say again? He was becoming so overwhelmed with emotion that his brain had practically shut down. Guess I’m going to have to improvise, Nico thought.  
“You know that time when I was ten,” he began. “I asked you if Annabeth was your girlfriend?”  
“Oh yeah! I remember that,” Percy replied.   
There was a pause. From the look on Percy’s face, the gears in his mind must have been turning.  
“Wait— Are you saying you have a crush on Annabeth?”  
Gods, Percy was so thick sometimes. Nico could feel his frustration begin to dominate his other emotions, welling up inside him.  
“No!! Argh, that’s not it! Why would I drag you all the way here just because of Annabeth?!” Nico exclaimed. His old habit of talking with his hands had returned, and he was frantically gesturing with them at this point.

“So why did you ask if Annabeth was my girlfriend?”  
“...Do I really have to spell it out for you?”  
Another pause. Percy silently nodded.  
“Look, I liked you. Like, romantically.”  
Nico had avoided making eye contact with Percy’s face until now. Now that he had said it, he wanted to get it over with and see Percy’s reaction.

Percy looked surprised. But it wasn’t the kind of surprised Nico was expecting. Percy’s expression was the same one he would have if you told him his favorite cheeseburger restaurant closed down. Shocked, with a hint of sadness.

“Nico… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Percy began.  
“Well now you do,” Nico replied nonchalantly. The son of Hades was subconsciously aware that he was putting up walls around himself again. He had to, just so he wouldn’t get hurt. He didn’t think he could stand much more pain.  
“Look man, I’m really really sorry. I feel bad enough for the way I treated you all these years, and knowing how you felt about me… Well, it just made me feel even worse.”  
Typical Percy. He really was a Greek hero, although Nico’s cynicism nagged at him whenever he thought about it. In the the myths, the Greeks and even the gods were totally down with dudes liking dudes. Heck, even Achilles, the greatest warrior in all of Greece, had Patroclus.

But Nico? He was no hero. He just did what had to be done. He stepped up to do what no one else could. He would never be a hero, and he’d never have have anyone. Because he was who he was—

Unlovable.

He had too much anger, too much baggage. He didn’t want to hurt anyone by letting them in. It was better to just keep all the darkness inside than to let it reach others.

Reyna was an exception. Her sharing Nico’s burden was necessary, otherwise they would have never been able to deliver the Athena Parthenos. In the process, Reyna also experienced part of Nico’s emotional burden, all the pain and anguish he wished so desperately to keep bottled inside. After the entire experience, Nico felt like a fraction of the weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

That was how he felt right now. Except that fraction was a lot bigger.

“So there,” Nico said with an air of formality. “Don’t think I confessed to you on the off-chance you’d say yes. I did this for myself and only myself.”  
Nico turned away and got ready to shadow-travel. He had chosen Monterey Bay not because it was beautiful, but because it was almost always overcast at this time of the year - perfect weather for shadow-travel.  
“Wait, Nico—!!” Nico could hear Percy say.  
Then he felt Percy’s hand grasp his shoulder.  
“Please don’t go,” he said.

Nico turned around. He looked into Percy’s eyes, and he could see that the son of Poseidon seemed to be more affected by the confession than he was. The furrow of his brow signified he was worried, an expression Nico was quite familiar with.  
Percy placed his other hand on Nico’s shoulder. Nico’s heart raced. Percy’s touch felt like it had magic, which is why Nico made sure to avoid it whenever possible.

The next thing Nico knew, Percy had pulled him into a bear hug.  
“I’m really, truly sorry,” he said. “You shouldn’t have had to go through all that alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”  
Nico couldn’t see Percy’s face, but he could hear his voice break. Was he about to cry.  
“I’m sorry if I hurt you when I started dating Annabeth. If I had known earlier, I—”  
Nico pulled away from the hug. Percy backed away in response, as if he knew that Nico didn’t like physical contact.

Nico could see tears streaming down Percy’s cheeks. He began crying himself - all the frustration and heartache was overflowing. The son of Hades was crying tears of joy, anger and sorrow all at the same time. He was happy that he finally got it off his chest. He was angry that he was born like this, angry that things turned out the way they did. And he was sad because he knew Percy would never like him back.

Both of them maintained their gaze for a few minutes, just letting their emotions flow in silence. Percy sniffled and wiped his tears away.   
“Let me treat you to lunch,” he finally said. “It’s the least I can do.”  
Nico couldn’t believe his ears. Already he was thinking about lunch?! What a dork.  
“Fine, but I get to choose where we eat,” he retorted, with a smile now beginning to form on his mouth.  
Percy’s smile turned into a smirk. Percy’s smile was another thing that drove Nico crazy - the way his dimples would show whenever he smiled was enough to make Nico’s heart skip a beat. Heck, just thinking about Percy’s smile already made his heart beat faster.

Percy hopped over the fence and went down to the beach. He looked back at Nico, as if expecting him to follow. Nico did.

The two of them sat on a wide rock, and stared at the waves.  
“Even though it’s just all waves, for some reason every beach I go to feels different,” Percy remarked.  
“Yeah…” Nico replied. He wasn’t really listening, he was mostly just staring at Percy.   
Percy noticed he was staring at him and blushed. Nico turned away, hoping to hide the redness of his cheeks. It was painfully hard to hide, given how pale he was.

Once the awkward moment subsided, Percy began edging closer towards him. Nico practically jumped when he felt Percy’s arm around him. It was just like this, for a few minutes.

But those minutes seemed to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was kinda tiring to write! I originally intended to stop the fic here, but I think I'll continue it just a little further. Stay tuned, folks!


End file.
